1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,000 : I am not a prophet. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,000 But sometimes I have prophetic dreams. 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,000 Like the one where I was at a garden party. 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,000 Excuse me. 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,000 Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make. 6 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,000 Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, 7 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,000 and the government is lyin' about 9/11. 8 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,000 Thank you for your time and good night. 9 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,000 No! 10 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,000 That can't be true! 11 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000 Unhand me! 12 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000 Hi-ya! 13 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000 MAN: He's on fire! 14 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,000 Somebody get some water. 15 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000 Ow! 16 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,000 Mm-hm. You havin' that dream where you made 17 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000 the white people riot, weren't ya? 18 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,000 But I was tellin' the truth! 19 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,000 How many times have I told you, you better not even dream 20 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000 about tellin' white folk the truth? 21 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 You understand me? 22 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,000 Shoot. 23 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,000 Makin' white people riot. 24 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,000 You better learn how to lie like me. 25 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,000 I'm gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now. 26 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,000 Sorry, Billy Blanks, but why buy the tape 27 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,000 when you can get the infomercial for free? 28 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,000 Whew! 29 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,000 What the hell? 30 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,000 Boys! 31 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,000 Would one of y'all like to explain this? 32 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,000 Uh... 33 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,000 You mean, the orange juice or the miniskirt? 34 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,000 Which one of y'all drank the last glass of orange juice? 35 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,000 That's the last full day's supply of vitamin C. 36 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,000 What am I supposed to do about my vitamin C now? 37 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,000 Y'all need to start appreciatin' your granddaddy. 38 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,000 I went and spent your inheritance 39 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,000 on this beautiful house in this neighborhood. 40 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000 And all I ask you to do 41 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,000 is act like you got some class. 42 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,000 Hey, what's class? 43 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,000 It means don't act like niggas. 44 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,000 S-see? That's what I'm talkin' about right there. 45 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,000 We don't use the N-word in this house. 46 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,000 Granddad, you said the word "nigga" 46 times yesterday. 47 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,000 I counted. 48 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000 Nigga, hush. 49 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,000 Now, you may not like it, 50 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,000 but I moved y'all out here 51 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,000 to expand your horizon. 52 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,000 There's a new white man out here. 53 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,000 He's refined. 54 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,000 For example, did you know 55 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,000 that the new white man loves gourmet cheese? 56 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000 Wait. 57 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,000 I'm sorry, did you say cheese? 58 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,000 Yep, cheese. 59 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,000 You give the meanest white man a piece of cheese, 60 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,000 and he turn into Mr. Rogers. 61 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000 Granddad, that doesn't make sense. 62 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,000 Don't you talk back to me. 63 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,000 Granddad, you can't tame 64 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000 the white supremacist power structure with cheese! 65 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,000 Oh, yes, I can! No, you can't! 66 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,000 GRANDDAD: Yes, I can! No, you can not! 67 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,000 HUEY: Cheese. 68 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,000 How can somebody that old 69 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,000 say somethin' that stupid? 70 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,000 RILEY: I know about white people too. 71 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,000 Like, when they talk, 72 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:45,000 they say the whole word, 73 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:45,000 like this. 74 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,000 HUEY: Why'd he even move us 75 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,000 out here? 76 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,000 Probably did it just to make us miserable. 77 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,000 RILEY: And white people take time out 78 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,000 to study. 79 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,000 I hate this place. 80 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,000 RILEY: And white people arrest you. 81 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,000 Man. 82 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,000 RILEY: Hey! 83 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,000 Looks like the feds. 84 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,000 Who the hell could be knockin' on this door 85 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,000 this early in the mornin'? 86 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,000 If it's a Jehovah Witness, I'm kickin' his ass. 87 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,000 Yes? 88 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,000 I'm looking for Robert Freeman. 89 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,000 I'm Robert Freeman. 90 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,000 I'm Ed Wuncler. 91 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,000 From Wuncler's Savings and Loan. 92 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000 Uh, so? 93 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,000 I own the bank that owns your house. 94 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,000 Oh, well-- 95 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,000 Come in, sir. 96 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,000 Welcome to your house. 97 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:53,000 Robert, my family founded Woodcrest over 170 years ago. 98 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,000 I was born here, and I still live here. 99 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,000 I consider this place to be family, 100 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,000 and I'm very selective 101 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,000 about who I allow in to that family. 102 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,000 You understand what I'm saying, Robert? 103 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,000 Hey, yes, I totally understand. 104 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,000 Would you like some... 105 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,000 cheese? 106 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,000 Did you just offer me cheese? 107 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,000 Yes, I did. 108 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,000 I'd love some cheese, thank you. 109 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,000 Hm. 110 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,000 Riley! 111 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000 Go get the fancy cheese. 112 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:32,000 I'd like to ask some questions, if you don't mind. 113 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,000 Are you gay, and if so, do you have a gay lover 114 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:39,000 living with you in the house? 115 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,000 Gay? No, I'm not gay. 116 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,000 I mean, I happen to think a man looks nice 117 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,000 with good hair and a ponytail. 118 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,000 But, no, mm-mm, I'm not gay. 119 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,000 What's your position on gay marriage? 120 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,000 Well, first of all, 121 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,000 I believe all marriage is wrong. 122 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,000 Good one, good. 123 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,000 Uh, you don't look like you associate 124 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,000 with any Muslims, Arabs, you know. 125 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,000 People of terrorist descent? 126 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000 Uh, well... 127 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,000 RILEY: We got Kraft, 128 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,000 and we got Velveeta. 129 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,000 Your grandson? 130 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,000 Afraid so. Ahem. 131 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,000 You know, I have a grandson too. He's-- 132 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,000 Is that right? 133 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,000 Well, heh-heh-heh, 134 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,000 this has been delightful. 135 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,000 Well, it's really been a pleasure, Mr., uh-- 136 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,000 I-Own-Everything. 137 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,000 We should get together soon 138 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,000 and have, uh... more cheese. 139 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000 Like a nice Brie or a G-Gouda-- 140 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,000 G-Gayda-- Gouda. 141 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,000 Heh. You know, you're my kind of guy, Freeman. 142 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,000 Old school. 143 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,000 What are you doin' tomorrow? 144 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,000 We're throwin' a garden party 145 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,000 for my grandson. 146 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,000 He just got back from Iraq. 147 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,000 You should stop by, meet some of the neighbors. 148 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,000 Bring the kids. 149 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,000 Sounds like a splendid idea. 150 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000 I'll see you tomorrow. 151 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,000 Uh, thanks for stoppin' by. 152 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,000 Cheers. 153 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,000 Huey! 154 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,000 GRANDDAD: This damn thing looks real. 155 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000 Can I have my gun back? 156 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,000 Son of a--! 157 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,000 GRANDDAD: A garden party? 158 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,000 Yeah, boy. 159 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,000 I might buy sandals and new underwear. 160 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,000 Oh, you shot me! 161 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,000 Granddad tried to assassinate me. 162 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,000 Boy, what did I tell ya? This is the new white man. 163 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000 He's distinguished. 164 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,000 Granddad, I do not sip tea with the enemy. 165 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,000 You could force me to go, 166 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 but you cannot force me to be someone I'm not. 167 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,000 The hell I can't! 168 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,000 You gonna go and you're not gonna embarrass me 169 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,000 in front of my new neighbors, or I'm gonna beat your ass. 170 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,000 Why can't we be ourselves, huh? Why can't I be me? 171 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,000 Are you ashamed of us? Very. 172 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,000 We never asked to move here 173 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,000 with your precious new white people, Granddad. 174 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,000 Didn't ask? 175 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,000 Well, you didn't ask for us 176 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 to be attacked by dogs and fire hoses, 177 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,000 so you can live here, but we did it anyway. 178 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,000 Oh, here he go again with the dogs and the fire hoses. 179 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,000 Shoot, we were attacked by dogs and fire hoses. 180 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000 Were you attacked? 181 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,000 I-I don't know what difference that makes. 182 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000 Because it's like the whole generation 183 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000 tries to take credit for what happened to some people. 184 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,000 That's ridiculous. 185 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,000 Now, see-- Well, you know-- 186 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,000 Uh, what had happened was... 187 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,000 MAN: Get out of here. 188 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,000 Go, go, go! 189 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,000 MAN: Come on, get out of here. 190 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,000 Aw, man. 191 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,000 I missed it. Was it bad? 192 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,000 Did they do the thing with the fire hoses? 193 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,000 What do you think, chump? 194 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,000 Damn, what's eatin' you? 195 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,000 A goddamn German shepherd, that's what. 196 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,000 Where was you? 197 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,000 I-I had to go back to the apartment 198 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,000 'cause I forgot my raincoat. 199 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,000 You went to--? You--? 200 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,000 This nigga went to get a motherfuckin' raincoat. 201 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,000 I can't believe you. 202 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,000 We all been watchin' the same news. 203 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,000 The police been doin' this fire hose thing all week. 204 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,000 I just assumed we'd all wear our raincoat. 205 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000 Damn it, Robert. 206 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,000 Who the hell comes to a march with a raincoat? 207 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 Bet you wish you had a coat now. 208 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 You son of a bitch! 209 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,000 GRANDDAD: Remember what Dr. King said! 210 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,000 Who actually got hit with the fire hose ain't important. 211 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000 Now, we goin' to this party, 212 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,000 and your black asses are gonna behave. 213 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:12,000 If I'm lucky, I'll find myself a nice white woman 214 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,000 with a flat booty who'll listen to my problems. 215 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,000 GRANDDAD: Now, the word for the day 216 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,000 is "behave." 217 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,000 H-E-A-V-E. 218 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,000 Behave. 219 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,000 I'm comin', I'm comin'. 220 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,000 Excuse me. Out of the way, Kunta Kinte! Yes, sir. 221 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,000 How can I help ya? 222 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,000 GRANDDAD: Excuse me? 223 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,000 Oh, Lord have mercy. Security. Security. 224 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,000 We got a Code Black. 225 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000 Code Black at the main gate. 226 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000 : ■ Ruckus, what the hell 227 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,000 is a Code Black? 228 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,000 There are some hungry-lookin' 229 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,000 niggas at the front gate. 230 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,000 What y'all doin' here? 231 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,000 Deliveries are in the back. 232 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,000 Well, my name is Robert Freeman, 233 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,000 I was invited here by Ed Wuncler. 234 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,000 Well, I'm Ruckus. Uncle Ruckus, no relation. 235 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,000 And I work for Mr. Wuncler. 236 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,000 And you slick niggas 237 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,000 ain't gonna fast-talk your way into this here party. 238 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,000 Ruckus, what the hell are you doing? 239 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,000 Uh, Mr. Freeman, 240 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,000 I'm sorry. Please, come this way. 241 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000 GRANDDAD: See, boys? 242 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,000 And you thought we'd be the only black people. 243 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,000 WUNCLER: Robert! 244 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,000 Glad you made it, Robert. This is my grandson, Ed III. 245 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,000 How are you? 246 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,000 Whassup y'all, what's good? 247 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,000 Uh...so I understand you just got back from Iraq. 248 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,000 For real? 249 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,000 Yo, what's it like? 250 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,000 What's it like? 251 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,000 What I supposed to say to that? 252 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,000 It was cool, there was bitches? 253 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000 Okay, there was bitches, but a lot of them had, 254 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000 you know, they was covered up 255 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,000 in them curtains and stuff they be wearin'. 256 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,000 But I digress. 257 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,000 It was war! 258 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,000 It was war, basically. 259 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,000 War, you know what that's like? 260 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000 Motherfuckers be, like, shootin': 261 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,000 Bombs blowin' up. 262 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,000 And, you know, the shit scared me. 263 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000 It scared the shit out of me. 264 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,000 Matter of fact, I shit on myself over a dozen times 265 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,000 and ran out of toilet paper after the second time. 266 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:58,000 So you know what that meant, right? 267 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,000 I had to use the thumb, man. It was kind of nasty. 268 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,000 But, you know, the good thing about it 269 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000 was they stopped taking me out on patrol. 270 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000 'Cause my name became "Stink Bomb." 271 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000 You know what I'm sayin'? 272 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000 They said, you know, I was giving away our position 273 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,000 because of the shit smell. 274 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000 That was fine with me, you know what I'm sayin'. 275 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000 They-- They wanted to leave me back. 276 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,000 And I was like: "Well, fuck y'all. 277 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,000 "Y'all go ahead on 'cause I don't need y'all anyway. 278 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,000 I'm rich, bitch." 279 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,000 The fuck y'all looking at? 280 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000 Hey, li'l man. 281 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 Like guns? 282 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000 Yeah! 283 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000 C'mon. 284 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000 Come on, let's get that drink. 285 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,000 MAN: Well, you should definitely see 286 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,000 The Passion. 287 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000 It's a very important movie. 288 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000 Couldn't see it. White Jesus. 289 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,000 Excuse me? 290 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,000 Come on, man. 291 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,000 It's supposed to be all historically accurate, 292 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000 and they still have a white man 293 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000 playin' Jesus? 294 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000 That's some old bullshit. 295 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,000 Young man, you speak so well. 296 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,000 RUCKUS: Well, 297 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000 la-di-da-di-do. 298 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,000 Look like we got us the winner 299 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,000 of the Lucky-Nigga-of-the-Year award. 300 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,000 Ah. 301 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,000 They must think the sun shine out your ass. 302 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,000 Mr. Wuncler's been very nice, yes. 303 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,000 They must think you Sidney fucking Poitier. 304 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000 Well, 305 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,000 I been workin' for Mr. Wuncler for 20 years. 306 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,000 I ain't never got invited to the party. 307 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:38,000 Shoot, he don't even let me use the front door. 308 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000 But you wouldn't know about that, 309 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:43,000 now, would ya, Mr. Tibbs? 310 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,000 Oh, yeah. 311 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,000 They must think your shit smell 312 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,000 like spring daisies and cinnamon. 313 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000 Check this out. 314 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000 Wow. 315 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,000 Are those real? 316 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000 Real? 317 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000 Put it this way: 318 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,000 if I pick one up and put it to your face, 319 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,000 pull the trigger, will you be dead? 320 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,000 HUEY: And all I'm saying is, 321 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,000 Ronald Reagan was the devil. 322 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:20,000 You are such an articulate young man. 323 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,000 I'm tryin' to explain to you 324 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,000 that Ronald Reagan was the devil. 325 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000 Ronald Wilson Reagan. 326 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000 Each of his names has six letters. 327 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000 Six-six-six. 328 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,000 Man, doesn't that offend you? 329 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,000 I love this kid. 330 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000 Stop that. What are you doin'? 331 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000 Stop clappin'. 332 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000 Having a good time, Robert? 333 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,000 I-It's, uh... 334 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000 Come on, have a drink with me. 335 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,000 You look nervous. 336 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:51,000 Do I make you nervous, Free-man? 337 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000 Nervous? No. 338 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:57,000 I was just, uh, keepin' an eye out for the boys. 339 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000 This is a lovely party. 340 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,000 The only joy I get from these parties 341 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000 is standing around, telling mean-spirited jokes 342 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,000 at other people's expense. 343 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 I do that too. 344 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000 Check out that guy. 345 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,000 Why is his face all twisted up like that? 346 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,000 Looks like he jacks off with Icy Hot. 347 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,000 He looks like he just shit a gerbil. 348 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000 A gerbil. 349 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,000 Sorry, I'll be right back. 350 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000 HUEY: Tell me this, 351 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000 why was all the video recordin' 352 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,000 of the Pentagon attack seized by the FBI 353 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000 and never seen again? 354 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,000 He speaks so well. 355 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000 He's adorable. 356 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000 Are you even listenin' 357 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000 to what I'm sayin'? 358 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,000 Nigga, if you ruin this party for me, 359 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000 I'll put my-- Ruin the party? They love me. 360 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,000 These people aren't worried about us. 361 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,000 They're not worried about anything. They're rich. 362 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000 No matter what happens, 363 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000 these people will just keep applaudin'. 364 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000 : Ahem. Attention please. 365 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:11,000 My name is Uncle Ruckus, no relation. 366 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:15,000 I want to sing y'all a brand new song I just wrote called: 367 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,000 "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There." 368 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,000 Sing along if you know the words. 369 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:30,000 Over there 370 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:34,000 In the air 371 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,000 Nappy-head niggas 372 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:44,000 Over there 373 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,000 Are you sure that vest'll stop this shotgun? 374 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:52,000 Man, I'm like the Terminator in this vest. 375 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,000 RUCKUS: 376 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,000 What? You don't believe me? 377 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 Go ahead! 378 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000 Pull the trigger. 379 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000 Now, are you sure that--? 380 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000 I said pull that trigger now! 381 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000 You wanna play rough? 382 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 Okay. 383 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:14,000 Over yonder 384 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,000 It'll make you wonder 385 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,000 Nigga-figures 386 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,000 I think the N-word is okay, as long as they say it. 387 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000 See? 388 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000 Say hello to my little friend. 389 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,000 Fuck y'all lookin' at? 390 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,000 Hey, you think we in trouble? 391 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000 You shot his grandson out the window. 392 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000 What you think? 393 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000 I don't know. 394 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,000 I didn't want to move here, 395 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,000 but I don't really want Granddad to lose his house. 396 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000 He worked his whole life to get here. 397 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:36,000 Man, I like that house. 398 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,000 Oh, well, I shot a nigga! 399 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,000 Mr. Wuncler, 400 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,000 I'm...sorry about the whole, you know, 401 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000 my grandson shooting your grandson 402 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000 out of the window thing. 403 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,000 Are you mad? 404 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000 In 30 years, 405 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:01,000 that boy will be the president of the United States. 406 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,000 And he'll still be a fucking idiot. 407 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000 Whew. 408 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000 Now, are we gonna have that drink or what? 409 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,000 Glad you were able to make it, Robert. 410 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000 To the old school. 411 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000 To the old school.